Creating Spaces

My time with God this morning was altogether unremarkable. 

I woke up tired, not really all that excited about the day ahead. I ate my breakfast (Lucky Charms of course) on the sofa, and turned round to look at the prayer corner that my housemate had set up in our living room. I had been away for the weekend and had little space to spend in solitude, and in recent weeks my discipline of praying has been pretty irregular. 

So I dropped myself down at the prayer corner, and sat in silence for a while, read the final part of the book I had been reading, 1 Peter. There was no magic spark that suddenly gave me excitement and fuel for the day ahead. I barely managed to string together a thought or sentence to God. Altogether it was 15 or 20 minutes of very little. Seemingly altogether unremarkable.

Or at least that's how prayer can seem sometimes. You ask yourself the question, "what am I even doing here?", you wonder if God is listening or if you're just talking to yourself. Sometimes my prayer times are passionate, and I'm excited or moved deeply. Others like this morning, they are hard, and seem pointless.

I've been learning from a writer called Henri Nouwen. He talks about the discipline of creating space, solitude and silence in your day. This space is not necessarily about talking, or doing anything, but simply creating space to be before God. Whether or not we feel anything is not the point. Prayer is a discipline to create space where we open ourselves to God. We may not feel anything, or feel changed. Sometimes we will.

But God is not a "feel-good" tap to fill us with happiness. Sometimes, it will feel altogether unremarkable. We're creating spaces.